Dont kick the dog

well here we go again christmas is upon us ,presents to wrap money to spend ...this year i had to not spend very much ha ha ho ho /well that was a load of twaddle >>.welll my cat has a new name get down from the tree !! whats yours he asks !!! Well no one takes any notice of me so im not worried ! i was glad in the x factor diane vicars was voted out as i thought she sounded like a cat being strangled ,...or how it would sound if i strangled my cat ..as it shit on my daughters duvet !!!
So i am now suffering from parking rage shopping rage ! because im sure if one old lady maimes me with a shopping trolley again ! and if i feel whilst accidental or other wise ,that she deserves to be run over by a big 4 wheel drive ...well then so be it And then i will say she walked behind me !!!
Today in a lovely part of shopping i faced racing grandads fighting grandads . i wouldnt be surprised if i could find fighting babies !!!Its ok they are wind up toys in our family so ive been married for 6 weeks .....im well happy ithink ..hes a little moody but we willl see ill make him read this ...then we will see

chrismas

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Dont kick the dog

married life

Married life,
Well im back from the Bahamas , and have been for 2 weeks ,now married no proablems there ,Not a lot to report really ...well i have but no proabs with me and Nathan . Funny that i was speaking to my dad the other night and he asked me a question !!
You and Nathan had an argument yet ? i replied no its all cool . My dad replied are you living in the same house ?? i had to laugh ..is that we are soposed to do now argue , ?
Well i cant say the same for katie and i ,but i wont bore any one wiv that here !!! so we got married in the bahamas in a beautifull setting the scene is set ..sun shine palm trees ,the ocean the sand .. abig fat bride who after trying her dress on ..on the monday had to fight to get it to fit on the saturday !! But fit it did after i met a lovely lady who was our witness helped to wrestle me into it ..amongst the words im going to break the fu...ng zip !!!
Well that will serve me right , dont eat to much rich food .i was actually 15 mins late for my wedding .but i was;nt bothered Dawn however was running round the room going mad ..i just laughed ,
As it happens they didnt even think that we were going to get married as we were late for the appointment to get married (thats another story )bloody pilots and clocks !!
So they appear i walk down or should i say totter as i had high shoes on ! and i meet nat we repeat our vows , i for the life of me cant say respect ...it sort of comes out rrrrr but no words ahhh ! i did manage to splutter it out in the end ..
Then after all the palava and commotion we are mr and mrs cobbe . so what do we do retire to our room ,,, no not us we go in the jacuzzi with our wedding qeusts in our weddina attire !!! oh happy days ..not to forget a lovely night (i think ) drinking lots of champange ...But im pleased to announce we did do the deed on our wedding night ...so i cant use that excuse to get out of it !!! Thanxs to every one who voted me on my way ...and a big thanxs to Laine , who i love very much !!! xx

Congratulations!!!!

Dont kick the dog
well Laine is going to have to sort out my blogg as its all messed up so now its upside down , But what i was going to say was .. If the lady gets married with mashed banana in her hair and snot on her face , Where Ethan rubs it on her ,,.. Well it must be love stretch marks ..saggy boobs and all , So all i can say is roll on next sat at 1 oclock ..cause this sad baggy mummy of 2 is getting married for the first time ever !!! He has to be a special man ... or special needs .!in not sure .. ill post some photos soon XXX

Dont kick the dog
Well the wedding day is upon me in 6 days time i will be mrs Cobbe , he he ha ha , so i have spent another day picking mashed banana and food out of my hair ! and wondering if the baby really need to teeth on my chin and nose ! But yes thats what babies do ,
Now im wondering if any one else thinks a child doing a wee in his potty at 9 months is exceptional or just plain luck ! well i actually think its luck !
So it got me thinking i have a wedding all planned .. i cat wait to marry the man i love (sad cow i am ) but am i going to miss anything Ethan does ? I know i will miss Ethan and i miss katie already shes in America not missing her mum ..may i add .well im sure she misses Ethan more .
But what if Ethan crawls ? gets a first tooth ?. he already says words .. And obviously speaks chinese and Italian and English as his first toungue ,,, And i know its only a week .but hey i found Nat and got pregnant in two (watched by my neighbour .who also bought me over a gin and tonic the next day , for a top preformance ..(last time i forget about curtains )

Dont kick the dog
Well Nathan got home just about ok from his stag night , I think it involved a lot of beer ! and shots and being chucked to the floor and nearly arrested , which he managed to talk his way out of .he is now laying upstairs snoring like a warthog after waking me up at 4.30,asking me if im ok .....ahhh
So i came down to the computer , and was reading about a guy who was 23 who had an accident playing rugby , and decided his life was no longer worth living ,so he went to switzerland,to end his life by his own choice, I actually think this man was very brave we have lots of choices in life, and whilst i do think suicide is a cowards way out .for someone who is fit and healthy, i also think if you have no quality of life ,then you should have the choice .
After all you wouldnt let a pet suffer like it ,you would give them an injection and they would fall quietly to sleep surrounded by the people who love them.
Now i know if i became ill ,and became a burden to those who love me , i would like to think i had a choice,to end my own life without having to get to a foreign country , where its tolerated and no one is going to get prosecuted . But this guys parents may be prosecuted for this how bad is that , If it was:nt bad eneough to lose there son . they also may face a criminal conviction.

Now i know its wrong to want to end your life , im nearly 40 and have had a few friends which have decided to end there life ,and been to a few funerals ,but one guy jumped out of his loft hatch with a rope around his neck , all over a woman... now i dont think thats fair much as i loved him i think thats selfish ,and things will always get better, and its the people you leave behind .

The parents of this man should be admired not persecuted they helped there son to do what he wanted ,and i imagine they had big disscussions about right and wrong . before they went on a plane etc , and im sure they were mortified about ther sons decisions . But please believe me im sure you would have to be in his shoes before you can judge them as a family.

so i end this happy entry and wish you all a good night , cuddle your loved ones , and thank your lucky stars that we are not in this familys shoes ! xxxx

something old something borrowed and something blue

Dont kick the dog .something old something borrrowed and something blue ...
Well i have a new dress , i have lots new . in 26 days ill be married .yes a married person ..ill be known as mrs cobbe ...

Now thats scarey . i cant sleep thats why im writing this . i think in the last 4 weeks ive had cold feet ..hot feet
But i also know that i have found the man i want to spend the rest of my life with ..i love him to bits , my daugher katie loves him ,.. and next to her dad tim i couldnt ask for more ,as he was a hard man to replace .

Tim was a man in a million , and i can honestly say this man comes in on first place with tim ..thats my man nathan .he is the most honest person . and kindest person and loving ive ever met !!
Sometimes he might not think it , and he doesnt read this blogg. but he may make a big mess in our house .. but i wouldnt change him for this world .. i love him with all my heart and i cant wait for the day i become his wife , He gave me another precious thing i had my daughter katie from Tim .. And then I had another precious gift from Nathan , he gave me Ethan

wedding blues and clues

Dont kick the dog

Well lo and be hold im getting married ..... in the morning ding dong the bells are going to chime !!! what a rip off and i won my wedding !!!

let me explain i had it all worked out ...next april .loadsa of time to lose weight ..no now im going to have to cut certain parts of my body off ....or eat dust !!! as doesnt contain any calories what so ever !!

So now im getting married in 4 wee

ks ..yes 4 weeks every thing is mad ..

To be honest there is no ding dong bells .

there is no chiming .

im getting married in the Bahamas ...



Without my friends ,and family .without my daughter katie (she will be in america ) and without our lovely son Ethan who is going to his grandparents in kent ..

Nathan and i went today to get our wedding rings .. now i do like rings . nine hundred and fifty pounds later ..we walk nearly 2 hours later ..with 2 rings that dont FIT US , but is policy as the rings cant be ordered , and have to be sourced from other shops !!!

I actually dont get this , give us 2 rings which we have paid for , to take home Which Nathan will lose , to go back and change them for 2 rings which will fit !!



can any one tell me what is the point of this !!! i have little or no sense of humour when this sort of thing arrises in a shop when your spending a thousand pounds ,.....why cant i just order the rings ? sorry madame they cant be ordered .as they take 6 weeks / ok i understand you have to source them from another shop !!yes madame so you have to take the rings we have in stock <>







So now i have two beautifull rings in my grubby little mitts mine is to big nathans is to small !! but i couldnt help but try mine on again ..it might not fit its not the right ring but its lovely !!! but what a bloody palava !!! for two rings that have to be taken back to the shop any way HA

But weddings are a rip off we are having our wedding blessed in our local church , on my 40th birthday not to bad you say we are having a big tent ... no sorry a marquee and a hog roast and a buffett ..all cool the local pub will earn shed loads shes doing the buffett ... now we spoke about having a toast to the bride and poor bloke sat quivering in the corner !!! whom is thinking i could buy shed loads of power tools...WELL Rhonda is thinking you want 8 pounds a bottle to cork it well they will toast us wiv there own beer .. And nathan will explain it will cost us 225 pounds for you to sip something spit it out ....... And Rhonda reckons thats money well spent on shoes and hand bags

A memory of very bad

Dont kick the dog
Now when i was younger i have some memories of the girl next door (not like you think ) I remember we will call her miss j ,
I was made to stay with miss j when my mum and dad went away , now mum and dad would go away quite often ,which according to a 8 year old wasnt good !!!
I remember 1 time when mum and dad were home and i tied her to a swing ha ha ...

i also remember her ripping my poster up when i had spent proababy 12 hours colouring it in .!! i remember in auntie ms kitchen thinking how can i get her back ..... well she had this doll in a coconut which obviously was her favourite . so to get her back i ripped its head off !!! ha ha .


But thats not the best i remember , i remember my Mum and Dad going to Norway , And as usual i had to go to stay With Auntie m and miss j ... Now they had a cat ..


And on there side board they had a big bowl of museli !! i got up early as couldnt sleep as was so disgusted i had to stay there , and i watched there precious siamiese cat ... yes sit in it and wee in there museli.... Ha i was delighted in my self cause obviously this cat has been doing it for weeks !!

Now this was obviously s high light to my week mum and .dad gone ..that morning at the age of eleven i knew it was funny ..and i watched them eat it ..And never told to now ..do you all reckon it was the shape of things to come. Or am i just having a very warpped sense of humour !!

what is a mum and a wife type person

Dont kick the dog
so Nathan asked me what do i do all day ? i was quite tempted to go on strike and then he would know.. he would come home to no clean and may i add ironed t shirts..And a very dirty and unhappy baby.and a very messy house and no tea !
so i pondered on this question what do i do all day ?,(laney im trying to put in as much punctuation as poss , but very hard with a baby on your lap )
so ive thought and i know ,..........
I am a cook,
A cleaner ,
A taxi driver ,
A teacher ,
a child minder,
a bank of mum ,
a personal shopper,
a pet minder ,
a ,daughter,
a sister ,
a lover,
but most of all i hope im a friend !!


Now i think ive listed most jobs ,proabably lots ive missed out, but i was honestly going to post some pics ,of katies bedroom ,there are things growing up there! so yesterday i went up with my hard hat and wellies !
i opened the door and looked at the floor ..thinking i know there is carpet in there some where !
So with a bin liner in i go , head down prepared for a battle !!
well
jesus christ,the floor is no where to be seen , its like armaggedon!!
Ahh theres the bowl that i have been missing ... umm is she conducting an experiment because there is mould ..
now i drink loadsa diet coke . now this stuff costs money , and as i tell them take a can drink it ALL....13 yes 13 half drunk cans of cola ...well the loo is really clean now !
so i plough on .. i.find lots of used tissues . and mountains of clothes that im not quite sure wich are clean or dirty ,!
But under her bed i find an empty can of larger ......So i know Katie does not like larger ! so where did it come from , i asked still no wiser....
But underneath all that shit and crap i find , that i have a wonderfull daughter , who loves her mummy warts and all , she also misses her dad Tim like crazy... But she has Nathan uncle Rob and Laney to remember him by ..And auntie Lynz whom caused Tim many a sleepless nite when he was alive...
So after spending nearly six hours cleaning katies room !! and feeling very proud of my self there is a carpet.
Katie comes home from school ...And do you no what i get no thanks .... I get why the bloody hell have you been in my room !!!
So Nathan if your reading this i do nothing all day im a lady who does lunch and shops ...i put our son into care and hire a cleaner a teacher , and all above ...so you may take two weeks off and ill go to work for A SIT DOWN .and meet people!!!!

Bites and stings

Now for some unknown reason, animals do not like me. I don’t know why, but they just don’t .Ok not a problem for some ...but I have been bitten by a wolf spider in America as it wanted to share a bed with me - I was quite ill after that one.

I have been stung by a jelly fish in Ibiza - that hurt too - and I asked said boyfriend at the time to wee on my leg as I knew it worked (I’d seen it in an episode of friends)! But hey ho, he wouldn’t. I got some vinegar from the bar instead!

But the best has to be when I was bitten on the bum by a bloody snake! It’s all true…I ended up in hospital for a week. The best thing about that one was I’d been camping for two weeks and didn’t even get a bite from a mossie. No, this was in some ones garden of all places and all I was doing was eating a frog. Well, it was in France. Perhaps it was a long distant cousin twice removed? Anyway I’m waffling

Today Katie brings home three, yes three guinea pigs. Now I know from experience they will not like me. Rob brings around a new cage and sets it up nicely in the garden, with a lovely run for them to frolic in. He tells me that they will keep the grass quite short .Rob; they’re guinea pigs, not bloody sheep! He then places said guinea pigs in the run and proceeds to leave with Katie. I’m like “who is going to put them to bed?” Answer? “You!”

Now this is not good.

Out in the garden I look at them and think this will be fine… not all small things can hate me can they? Well the answer is yes. Come 7 o clock I look at them with trepidation and say bed time. I lift the lid of the run and pick up the first one. Success! I wasn’t bitten. And the other two? Not a problem. Later on, I went to shoo the cat off the top and it bit me. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you!

Just to let you know I have also been bitten by pet rats and hamsters!

Wow. I nearly got through this post without mentioning Laney!

Its been months...

Dont kick the dog.

Hi! I know its been a long time but I have been advised by miss understood to start this up again and carry it on. As you all know she is my best friend and due to recent activity on her blog I feel it's only fair to share my points of view. She is wonderful, and I can honestly say she tells the whole truth...and nothing but the truth. She has, in fact, awful photos of me but also some fantastic shots too. Rob, the lovely person, is my son's God Father.

You imagine the stories I have to tell! This is why I'm going to visit all your blogs and... well, all we can do is have some fun!