You can get lost in this world of space here, there’s so much I have to say but don’t know where to start. I don’t particularly care if no one reads it, but it will make me feel better, knowing I’ve written it all down with my two finger typing speed! I’m just learning how the bloody computer works, let alone trying to set up a blog (which I hope people will find amusing) and yet after reading some one else’s blog avidly I decided I could do this. I know this is all random to you but I’ve got to start somewhere so bear with me.

Being pregnant at 38 is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. To start a new life is so much responsibility, and believe me I’m not a very responsible person, but I have raised one daughter into a beautiful person so things can’t be all bad! When I found out I was pregnant I wasn’t sure what to do… I mean I had my life back. Katie was 13 and independent almost and her dad was dying of cancer. Could I really say to her” look, Mum’s having another baby.” I didn’t want to upset her anymore then I had to. Also, she’d had me for 13 years all to her self.

But hey ho, after a lot of soul searching I finally introduced her to Nathan, my wonderful partner whom I’m sure will soon be Katie’s Step-dad (not that any one could replace the wonderful man she had as a dad.) And Nathan and I decided that we had created this life and would go ahead with this pregnancy. The fact that we had just lost one beautiful person; it seemed all the more important. I hadn’t been with Nathan for very long so it was a big decision.

But as the months have gone by I’ve come to realise that it was the best thing I’ve ever done - apart from the fact I cant see my feet, shave my bits or paint my toe nails. I asked Katie to do it and she said: “Mum, Nath got you into this…he will have to do it! so bless him, he offered. After all…I’m about to lose all my dignity in January when I give birth, and he isn’t doing that for me, is he?

Birthing plans: hospital, pain relief and drugs please. I’m all for these natural births but this is going to hurt!! Nathan and Katie are going to be there, even though I didn’t particularly want them at the end of the bed – I mean its not particularly dignified is it? Anyway Katie has been to all the scans and I have explained that birth is very messy, so in her wisdom a couple of months ago she sat down and told me that she may not be there after all. I asked why, and she gave me the reason. Do you know what she said? Apparently she didn’t want to die a virgin!!!!!! I suppose she had a point but out of the mouths of babes? Any way, after much to-ing and fro-ing she is coming now, much to my Mum’s disgust who I am sure would rather sit in the waiting room smoking a cigar!!!